Life is a fucking mystery...

Thursday, January 28, 2010

9:40 PM

Dearest Dee,
How is it there? By now you should have known what had happened right.. It must be a real shock for you, cos as i heard it was instantaneous. How did you feel? What went through your mind? Did you think of your parents, your classmates, your homework, your tuition lessons? Did you think of me?...........

11 years ago we met each other. We started by introducing our names. You approached me first, "Hello im Desiree, what's your name?" and from then on we were inseparable. How amazing that was, how a friendship can start as simply as ours did. We went through 2 years of kindergarten together, but got into different primary schools. But that didnt stop us from seeing each other at least thrice a week. We were there for each other whenever either of us felt happy or sad, angry or depressed. I cried on your shoulders, and you cried on my pillow, literally we did.

In pri 4 i started calling you Dee, and it has become the most affectionate name i've ever called anyone. It suited you just right. And you loved it so much that you proudly announced to your mum that you had a new name, but only i could call you that. I was so proud of it, so proud of having you as my one and only Dee. You said we belong to only each other, and i was only too happy to agree.

PSLE results were revealed, and you surpassed me as expected. You cried because we couldnt be in the same secondary school. I remember thinking how adorable and silly you were to cry over this trivial matter. But i was very touched. We kept in touch as promised, and met up as when we could after school or during the weekends. How we chatted, laughed and had those meals together are still embedded deep in my mind. I'll never forget any single moment i spent with you.

Every year we never failed to celebrate each other's birthday together, regardless of it being on the actual day, or belated. Every year on my birthday we renewed our vow of friendship by buying a new set of friendship band/bracelet/keychain. It was your suggestion, and i asked why on my birthday. You said it was the day when your bestest friend was born. So i asked why cant it be on your birthday, and you said because mine came first.

From last November till this year I haven't seen you due to our busy schedules. We were supposed to meet up next Tuesday. But seems like that day will never ever arrive. When i received your mum's phone call yst night, i totally broke down and couldnt accept this painful truth. I wonder if you were watching me nearby when i cried non-stop. I even continued doing my homework as per normal cos i didnt want you to see me losing it. I was devastated. Then i felt hurt. I couldnt understand why you had to leave me just like that. I couldnt. And it pains me through and through. To lose such a great friend like you. How am i supposed to live on without you? How Dee, tell me how........ Why did it have to be you? You're an only child, you're pretty, smart and kind. Why couldnt it be me instead? What am i gonna do now? I feel so empty. I feel so...... dead.......

This is me.

I'm realistic, true and factual.
I don't take too much of a load of bullshit, so know my limits.
This world is fake enough, so don't add on to it by pretending to be someone you are not.
Never expect me to change into what you want me to become. I indulge in the fact that I am who I am and embrace it.
You're beautiful, don't let others tell you otherwise.
Anything else anyone is unhappy with about me, I really don't give a fuck.

▪ ~~Contact lenses~~
▪ See Justin Bieber in person!
▪ Lose weight, be slimmer!!!
▪ A personal laptop
▪ A personal digital camera
▪ More money (which will definitely settle many other things)
▪ A happier family

Gwendolyn
Teresa
Humairah

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