Life is a fucking mystery...

Life is a fucking mystery...

Saturday, July 17, 2010

10:33 AM

Ever felt like there's no point in life anymore and you'd rather just end it, right here, right now, this very eff-ing moment?

I have, and I always do. In fact right now, I am feeling this way. Everything in my life is so screwed. I don't want to have to go through all this negativity that my life seems to always be having, never-ending. It just keeps getting more and more.

I know I'm not being a realist here and am a coward for feeling this way. But I can't help it. I need some peace in my life. Where do I get it?

NOWHERE. That's the answer. Because in this fucking cruel world, one will never get peace, quiet and serenity especially when they need it the most. Somehow it will all flood your entire life and make you drown totally in it.

And even then, sometimes, it just wont stop...

Song of the post: You make me wanna die by The Pretty Reckless

This is me.

4:28 PM

Ok in the end didn't go to Vivo cos it's too far and my mum dislikes taking public transport. Weird i know. She can never stand taking public transport for more than half an hour. So we went to Lot One, super nearby but it's ok cos I felt quite sian too.

First stop, COTTON ON!!! Shopped there for like nearly half an hour. I didn't buy anything cos I decided I would buy it another day with my own money. I'm a good girl. My mum bought a tank dress which I can wear if i want so it's fine with me. Went to get tickets for Letters To Juliet, then went to Delifrance for lunch and I ate the steak, lamb and sausage combo. Delicious! :D Fattening yes, but my mum said I've been eating very little recently so I deserve this meal. Yay! :)

Ok this is the "highlight" of the day. My mum and I just went up the escalator to the 5th floor where the cinema is, then I was saying something to her, and she suddenly went "Eh, jason." She recognises him from the ptc early this year. Ok, so I thought she was totally joking, but I just looked up and it really was him, with Litao, Yujie and Junwei. I was like SHOCKED and EMBARRASSED. Shocked cos it's too coincidental and I was afraid the guys would start opening their mouths and gl. Embarrassed cos, well I don't know. Not exactly cos I'm with my mum, I mean that's perfectly normal. But I don't really know how to explain.. And when we walked past them they were like laughing. My mum asked me what were they laughing about. I was like "Huh? How would I know?" Then SHE laughed at me cos she knew I was embarrassed, and I think I might have blushed a little.

Anyway Letters To Juliet is a nice show, it's really sweet. Not SAPPY ok~ At least, not to me. To others it may be. And the guy in it is pretty hot, Christopher Egan if I'm not wrong. But his eyes are quite small for an "ang-moh" as my mum says, LOL.

Ok bye bye. I don't know what am I gonna do already. I think I might actually start studing for prelim 2, seriously. I. Love. My. Life. I really do..

Song of the post: My Boo by Usher Feat Alicia Keys
[Pretty old song but it's smooth and jazzy, I like it :) ]

This is me.

8:55 PM

LAST DAY OF PRELIM 1 TODAY!!!!!!!!!

At least can relax and let my hair down for awhile. Then again probably have to start mugging for prelim 2 like now cos I think im still lagging in quite a number of areas.

Shopping spree with mum tomorrow at Vivo City!!!! It's been quite some time since I spent quality time with her, and tomorrow is the perfect day cos I have no physics paper 1 and my sis will be in school since 10am till it ends at 630pm. WOOO!!!

Watched Twilight Saga: Eclipse today though I watched neither Twilight nor New Moon (whichever came first, LOL). Just wanted to spend away the time on my hands instead of going home, and of course to spend more time with ~ :) It turned out alright, not that bad a show after all. But for the record: Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner are NOT the definition of a hottie. At least not for me. My definition of a super hottie is like... Well I guess people who know me should know. I shan't name who in particular lest I get on someone's nerves, or lest I get all worked up mentioning this hottie's name :D

OK that's all, bye bye :)

Song of the post: California Girls by Katy Perry
(For you as well since you love it so much :D)

This is me.

3:48 PM

This is so saddenning you know, WHERE ON EARTH DID MY JB MTV SPECIAL GO??? It's not on, I was like rushing to turn on the tv at 1.58pm and in the end it just kept showing Kylie Minogue's videos cos she was the featured artist till like 2.40pm and I frustratedly gave up and turned off the tv. Boohoo D:

Yesterday listened to Top 20 countdown on 987FM and OMG was #1!!!! I was like whoopng and jumping around the room. And Somebody To Love is #8, yay! Then I called in to Desiree Lai's Late Night Delight at 0044 (nice timing) and made a shout out to ~ *smiles*
Lol it was fun, I was like "Hi Desiree!" And she was like "Hey, how're you doing tonight?" Like old friends. LOL. And someone was an epic failure huh. Watched too many fail videos of others alr HAHA.

Okok gotta go out now, BYE PEOPLE! :D

Song of the post: My First Kiss by 3OH!3
(LOVE THIS SONG TOO!!!)

This is me.

1:19 PM

Halfway through prelim 1 and all i can really say is... *shrugs* No comment. The confidence is not there at all. Nope, zilch, zero, nada.

Life is getting complicated yet at the same time easier to grasp. I mean, ok I know I'm not making any sense here, but it's like I always tend to start thinking: my life is like shit, right now. Then when I actually think harder about it, it's so simple to see the way out and make everything much simpler. Like I will go something like *snaps finger* "yeah I got it, it's so simple!" Or "Sarah, you must have been stupid to not think of this earlier and save yourself the initial trouble of feeling so shitty."

I'm so in the shopping mood recently, I wanna buy everything I see. I want more shoes, more clothes, more earrings, hairbands, anything!!!! So I'm currently saving money like ther's no tomorrow. And starving myself, cos I'm also on a diet. But it's working! I'm proud to say this is one of my most successful diets ever. I've been going at it for about 2 weeks, and besides the 2 main meals lunch and dinner, I eat nothing else for the rest of the day. Or maybe an occasional snack in the afternoon. *guilty*

Ok, back to studying. Again. My life is so sad, really. But then again, it's selfish to say that cos everyone else is doing the same. I guess I'm just one of those who can't stop complaining...

Song of the post: OMG by Usher
One of the few songs that can repeatedly get stuck in my head and I never get tired of it. I mean, I even got tired of JB's Baby and One Less Lonely girl when they were running through my head for at least 2 weeks. Go figure. This one has been like what, 1 month? And I still love it. Catchy! :D

This is me.

I'm realistic, true and factual.
I don't take too much of a load of bullshit, so know my limits.
This world is fake enough, so don't add on to it by pretending to be someone you are not.
Never expect me to change into what you want me to become. I indulge in the fact that I am who I am and embrace it.
You're beautiful, don't let others tell you otherwise.
Anything else anyone is unhappy with about me, I really don't give a fuck.

▪ ~~Contact lenses~~
▪ See Justin Bieber in person!
▪ Lose weight, be slimmer!!!
▪ A personal laptop
▪ A personal digital camera
▪ More money (which will definitely settle many other things)
▪ A happier family

Gwendolyn
Teresa
Humairah

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