Life is a fucking mystery...

Life is a fucking mystery...

Thursday, December 30, 2010

9:28 AM

I'm so gonna quit next week, so buh-bye to all fucked up attitudes, you-must-listen-to-all-my-shit-cos-i-know-best and i-know-it-all-but-you-know-nothing treatments.

I'm gonna start every post with a red sentence to get all my thoughts across. And the one above refers to how I feel at work. Yes honestly I do love what I do, cos all in all it's pretty straightforward and the pay is good. BUT what can turn an employee off the most is the employer, or whoever the employee is under. And for my case is my supervisor Alvin.

In my first post at work I said he was nice. Fuck me for my wrong and premature judgement. He sucks to the core. He acts like he knows it all, and somehow acts like he's my elder brother. He even tries to barge into my private matters and give me "advice" and demands that I do what he says. Everyone is nothing to him, he is all that matters and we must all listen to what he says. We don't even have the right to voice our opinions.

He hates it when he sees that we have nothing to do and tries to dig anything out just to keep my hands busy, and the worst is all those stuff are NOT within my job scope. Yesterday he himself told me at the start of the day that I won't have anything to do, so I went to the staff lounge after lunch with my colleagues. Halfway through he called me and was pissed that I was at the staff lounge enjoying myself, so he called me back to do some installation. After I've done that, I headed back to the staff lounge where my colleagues managed to book the ktv room. So we were singing when he suddenly barged in and was like hollering and pointing at me from the door, he was all like "Very fun hor, you stay here for the rest of the day luh don't need come back to the office. Tomorrow you will suffer." He was using the half-joking tone but I didn't fall for it. A threat nonetheless. I'm not afraid ok you bastard.

Then he turned to my 2 colleagues Shi Ying and Liyanah and even though they weren't even under him, he started bossing them around.

How fucked up is he?

That day he made Shi Ying fall and we all saw it with our own eyes. But he was pushing all the blame on her, saying that he didn't make her fall, she fell by herself. And not even a word of apology. Come on, he rolled past her side on his roller chair, then hooked his arm around her arm and continued rolling. Of course she lost balance and fell. So it's her fault that she got dragged out of nowhere and lost balance?

Which comes to another point, he's touchy towards us girls. He puts him arms around us, grabs our arms, even puts his hand at our waists. I don't know if he has done all these to the other 2 girls, but he has done these to me. I closed one eye initially though I was highly uncomfortable.

Then once when I was super angry with him, I decided it was the last straw. I was ignoring him while he was talking, so he came to my table and I refused to look up from the com. Liyanah and Shi Ying were both sitting beside me. He said some more stuff and I still didn't look up. So he used both his hands to cup my face and tried forcing me to look towards him. I grabbed his hands and shouted "Don't fucking touch me!!!"

Think he got the message?

No, he fucking had no idea.

He thought I just said that cos I was angry at that moment. Cos Liyanah told me when I wasn't within earshot he actually asked her "Why was she so fierce just now? What's she angry with?"

Fuck it. I was trying to convey the general message of "Stop touching me like you ALWAYS DO cos I hate it and I can totally report you for a certain level of molestation."

Instead he read it as "Don't touch me AT THE MOMENT cos I'm angry with you."

I didn't tell my parents this, and I don't plan to. I can handle this on my own as long as he doesn't go over the line. At least he has realised that recently I am giving him either the cold shoulder, or just talking to him like I'm highly allergic to him cos he keeps asking what am I so irritated about. Like no more nice little girl that I was initially. Maybe that is why he thinks he can just order me around and I will obey like a bitch.

"I'm irritated when I see your face you motherfucker sonofabitch."

Gee how I wish I could say that in his face.

This is me.

10:59 AM

I'M FUCKING FREEZING IN HERE!!!!!!!!

Hi people. Yeah just wanna get the message across. When I came for the first day of work, the air-conditioning was horrible, you could totally suffocate in here. But when it was fixed a few days later, it's been fucking cold.

Right now I'm sitting at my table, wearing my red jacket with the hoodie over my head and trying to type with fingers that are seemingly frost-bitten. I kept forgetting to bring my jacket previously and today is like my first day bringing and wearing it. And the air-con in some fucked up way just seems colder than when I don't have my jacket.

Nothing to do. So still deciding whether to go outside of campus for lunch. Then maybe after lunch we're gonna head to the staff lounge and chill out. Not literally CHILL, I've had enough of coldness. What I need now is warmth. And food. Don't laugh cos I know you, yes YOU, always laugh when I say I'm hungry.

Yesterday I didn't report for work cos I had this bad muscle ache in my right leg, so bad that I was limping. Actually it was very bad on Monday night, so I informed my supervisor that I'm not going for work on Tuesday. By Tuesday it was all fine, and since it was my sister's birthday, my family went to Plaza Singapura as a little celebration.

Went to this Japanese Buffet called "Let's Sweets". It's pretty nice and the food is good and as you can probably tell from the name it has loads of desserts like cakes, chocolate fondue, different flavoured crepes etc. But there's one big big BIG thumbs down: this buffet is an all-you-can-eat, in ONLY 60 FREAKING MINUTES!!!! And there's this timer on every table that is set to go off in 50 minutes, then you have another 10 minutes to finish up and buzz off. I nearly puked, cos I ate far too much in too short a period of time. Ok this is painting a picture of being totally unglam, but come on, it is after all a buffet, so even if they limit you, you will go all the way to pile up your plates and shove them all down your throat. Especially when there is a charge of $5 for every 200g of food wastage. Yeah. So that's what I did.

The after effect? Not good.

Every step I took just pushed me closer to the edge of barfing right on the spot. The thing is my parents and my sis were also very full, but nowhere close to my pathetic state. And before you assume it all wrong, NO I DID NOT EAT MORE THAN THEM. In fact I ate much less than I usually do in a buffet that has no time limit. And also much less than my parents. My mum was still saying that I ate too little, so not worth it. Yeah so at first I ate my perfect fill, like just the right amount to keep me perfectly full, then my mum so helpfully continued piling more onto my plate. And when I whined, "Mommy I'm super full already." she gave me her trade mark glare that totally conveyed the message "Eat it, NOW. Or you die."

Nahhh I keed the killer stare my mum gives when we refuse the food she piles onto our plates..

Pause.

So er back to the point, she just said that I have to eat more or it'll be such a waste of money. So I did. And deeply regretted. So I ran to the toilet, tried to puke it all out and ended up just dry retching. Fortunately it subsided in awhile.

Then went to watch TRON. It's cool with it's visual graphics and all that, makes me wish it's all real. But basically not my cup of tea with the draggy and un-interesting storyline. Guess sci-fi flicks are still not my thing. The only sort of sci-fi flick that I truely love and enjoy is still I-ROBOT, if it even falls under the category of sci-fi. Does it?

I'm going for lunch soon. Peace out (:

This is me.

9:45 AM

"Cut by Plumb"

I'm not a stranger,
No I am yours.
With crippled anger,
And tears that still drip sore.

A fragile frame aged,
With misery.
And when our eyes meet,
I know you see.

I do not want to be afraid.
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in.
I'm tired of feeling so numb.
Relief exists I find it when,
I am cut.

I may seem crazy,
Or painfully shy.
And these scars wouldn't be so hidden,
If you would just look me in the eye.
I feel alone here and cold here.
Though I don't want to die,
But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside.

I do not want to be afraid.
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in.
I'm tired of feeling so numb.
Relief exists I find it when,
I am cut.
Pain
I am not alone,
I am not alone.

I'm not a stranger,
No I am yours.
With crippled anger,
And tears that still drip sore.

But I do not want to be afraid.
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in.
I'm tired of feeling so numb.
Relief exists I found it when,
I was cut.

This song is from The Vampire Diaries. Such a beautiful song, but very emo, especially when all the comments on YouTube are by those who have really cut themselves. Been quite a long time since I've felt emo enough to even want to do this. Yes I'm gonna admit it, I've done this, three times.

But I'm all fine now (: I haven't been actually emo for a long long time. Cos I'm happy now. And contented. So I hope all the beautiful things I have now last as long as possible. I have to cherish and appreciate all that I have now ♥♥♥

This is me.

4:40 PM

Verse 1:
(And i pray)
I just can't sleep tonight,
Knowing that things ain't right.
It's in the papers, it's on the TV,
It's everywhere that i go.
Children are crying, soldiers are dying,
Some people don't have a home.

Pre Chorus:
But i know there's sunshine behind that rain,
I know there's good times behind that pain, hey
Can you tell me how i can make a change?

Chorus:
I close my eyes, and i can see a better day,
I close my eyes and pray.
I close my eyes and i can see a better day,
I close my eyes and pray.

Verse 2:
I lose my appetite, knowing kids starve tonight.
Am I a sinner? Cuz half my dinner,
Is still on my plate.
Ooh i got a vision, to make a difference,
And it's starting today.

Pre Chorus:
Cuz i know there's sunshine behind that rain,
I know there's good times behind that pain.
Heaven tell me i can make a change.

Chorus:
I close my eyes, and i can see a better day,
I close my eyes and pray. (yeah)
I close my eyes and i can see a better day,
I close my eyes and

Bridge:
I pray for the broken-hearted,
I pray for the life not started.
I pray for all the ones not breathing,
I pray for all the souls in need.
I pray, can you give 'em one today?

Pre Chorus:
I just can't sleep tonight,
Can someone tell me how to make a change?

End Chorus:
I close my eyes, and i can see a better day,
I close my eyes and pray, (ooh)
I close my eyes and i can see a better day,
I close my eyes and i pray, (ooh)
I pray, I pray,
I close my eyes and pray.

I know I'm kinda late putting this up only now, but better late than never right. This song is awesome and the video is really touching. Justin is such a Giver, another point scored!!!! I love cute guys who are also kind-hearted. Perfect.

This is me.

9:33 AM

2010 Christmas Eve :D

What can I say? It was like the bestest day of my life. Ok, more like the bestest Christmas celebration I've had in a long long time.

Now I understand why they say "There's no better way to spend Christmas than with the one you love." And I spent it with not one, but TWO of my loved ones!!!!

First off you may think I'm an ungrateful girl when I start talking about these 2 loved ones and then you realise, "Oh it's not your family you were referring to, bitch." Well, I don't think I'm gonna say much in my own defence, except that of course I do love my family, no matter how un-saintly they are and are on the contrary irritatingly insane. But wait, who the fuck are you to judge me?

I shall start off by telling you that the 2 people are both guys (: Oh lucky lucky me I know...

Ok, person #1. Trained to Orchard with him and went to Shaw Centre first to get my contact lenses. Then went to Takashimaya building and to one of my favourite places in the world: Kinokuniya!!!!! To get my Justin Bieber's Biography - First Step To Forever: My Story. YES I GOT IT!!!!! And it's $35.20. Totally worth it. When I took it off the shelf it was so exhilarating!!! Like "OMG I'VE GOT IT. IT'S MINE, IT'S MINE!!!!!!"

After that went to Takashimaya toy department to get my sister's birthday present. Got her this super adorable baby pooh in which she recently developed a crazy fetish for. "Baby Pooh is sooo cute, not like the adult one so uglyyy." Hahaha, and I agree :D

Then we walked to Far East Plaza. Oh by the way I was wearing 3-inch heels and my feet were totally killing me. But back to the point. Shopped at Talisman's and he bought a black conductor cap with gold rim for me. Classy and I love it, thank you so much (:

I can't remember the order of all the things we did, but in between we went into the huge christmas tree outside ION Orchard and camwhored, which is something totally new for the both of us to be doing. Dinner was something new, we bought Old Chang Kee and sat on the steps outside ION and ate in the open air, enjoying the scenery. Beautiful... Then camwhored again. Yes it was mostly my idea and he just had to go along with it hahaha.

Then he took train and bus with me to my cousin's house where my family was having xmas celebration. No he did not go into the house LOL though I wish he could. It was so late and I felt bad, but it was nonetheless great (:

So at my cousin's house was where I spent Christmas eve with person #2. We got to know each other more, or rather I got to know him more heehee. Then since my guitar was still at my cousin's house I decided to tune it. When it was tuned, my cousins and I, and of course him, sang 8 songs together like one after another. And fooled around and just got slightly drunk.. And when we got drunk, we all took turns kissing him but I scored big!!!!! Cos I got to bring him home. and he now lives with me. *smug*

Person #1: Junwei ♥ Thanks for the amazing Christmas Eve. I'll always remember and cherish it. I love you!

Person #2: Justin Bieber ♥ Thanks for being so beautiful and perfect and making me so happy whenever I look at you and hear your songs. I love you!

Hahahaha I know person #2 is like so unexpected right. The 8 songs we sang were all his songs and we sang till we were like super high like at his concert. At first we played his songs on my phone, but soon our voices just topped it off and we could barely hear the music. When I said I kissed him and brought him home. Like WOAH!!!! I meant the biography with all his perfect pictures that all seem so real like he's looking right at me and singing/talking to me. But my cousins and I really did take turns kissing his picture, which is kinda surprising cos they don't even like him. Amazing what alcohol can do huh. Hahaha they said he is very cute but are just not that into him like I am. YES I AM TOTALLY INTO HIM, I ADORE JUSTIN BIEBER!!!!!!

Also I'm referring to my guitar cos I've named him Justin. So he lives in my room and I get to hug him everyday whenever I want to. *smiles*

Anyway I'm blogging this in office and somehow though I've brought my phone cable to connect to the laptop, it just cannot detect my phone. I think it's because of the bloddy old model of this laptop. So I can't upload the pretty photos I've taken at Orchard. And I don't like using com at home cos I have no privacy with my mum poking her head in every minute. So maybe I'll never get the pics here for me to remember better with this post, but they're all in my phone and I'll just look through them whenever I'm nostalgic (:

This is me.

3:21 PM

ATTENTION: I'M NOT TRYING TO BE MEAN BUT I WANNA SHARE THIS COS IT MADE MY DAY LIVELIER AND MORE FUN AT WORK WITH THESE ROFL AND LOL JOKES.

*THANKS KHAIRUL, I KNOW YOU'LL SEE THIS AND THANK ME TOMORROW. PLUS GIVING ME EVEN MORE OF YOUR HILARIOUS BULLSHIT :D

The 2 attachment students Liyanah (L) and Shi Ying (S) have this supervisor who is, unfortunately, a midget. So today he has decided to come pay them a visit here. "To come and boss us around and pressurise me and Shi Ying luh." as Liyanah says. Khairul (K) and Alvin (A) have both met him before and say he is a real "fucking asshole, especially for someone his size."

[LOL 1]

Me (M): 3o'clock your supervisor still not here?
L: Ya luh he also dunno come for what, that's why can take his own sweet time mah.
*Khai and Alvin burst into office*
A: Eh that shorty haven't come ah? Fuck luh ask him don't come luh.
K: Ya he come for what sia?
S: He want to pass us the info sheet cos we run out already.
L: Make himself useful for once lor.
K: Why you 2 so scared of him sia. He so tiny eh, dont need scared luh.
L: He bossy luh then don't help us one.
K: Too short also difficult to handle hor. Sarah! Sarah the small girl can handle him!! Eh Sarah don't worry he shorter than you sia!
*ALL LOL*
A: Ask that shorty go home luh, so short also cannot do anything.
M: OI FUCK IT SHUT UP!!! Don't make fun of short people ok!!!
A: Not saying you luh relax, you very good, that shorty damn asshole.
K: *starts singing* Shorty's like a melody in my head.......
*ALL MAJOR LOLS*

[LOL 2]

*THE supervisor still not here*
S: Walao he damn late sia, think he very big ah make us wait for him.
K: HOR shi ying I tell him you make fun of him. Say he very BIG!!! It's not his fault he's a shorty, why you so bad?!
*ALL LOL*
S: Oi I didn't mean that ok.
K: I know why he late luh, too short cannot board the bus.
*ALL ROFL*
K: Eh no sia, he drive car one. Leg cannot reach the break pedal, aiyoh. Act cool drive car hor that shorty.
*ALL ROFL*

[LOL 3]

*Alvin and Khai bringing Liyanah and Shi Ying out of office for their assignment.*
A: I think Sarah don't go with us luh.
M: Huh why?
A: Cos later the shorty reach already then see that Sarah helping the 2 of them scared he not happy then scold them.
L: But Sarah help us these few days we do faster, then more people more fun mah.
S: Ya lor, then every time stress us say one day must complete in 8 labs.
K: Can, ask him grow taller first.
*ALL MAJOR LOL*
A: Sarah you stay in the office.
M: Ok, but will he come into the office or not?
K: No luh he cannot come in, too short cannot open the door.
*ALL MAJOR ROFL*
K: Sarah if the shorty really come to the office you don't open the door ah, later he see you also taller than him he will cry sia.
*ALL MAJOR MAJOR ROFL*

I nearly died from all these laughing. They may not seem so funny here but we were all laughing so fucking hard that it took a good nearly 10 minutes before they were composed enough to leave the office.

OMG, tummy-ache from all the laughing...

This is me.

2:18 PM

First of all, I totally can't believe it's almost CHRISTMAS!!!! Seems like just yesterday we were all mugging our butts off for the Os. Now we're fucking close to getting our results. Shit that fucking killed the mood. And after christmas it's the NEW YEAR!!!!! 2011 HERE WE COME!!!! Ok I'm back in the mood thank goodness!!!!! :D

Normally I don't really feel so hyped for x'mas unless there's some celebration at my relative's house or something. If there isn't anything on I usually just stay home and camp on the sofa while junking non-stop with my eyes glue-ed to the TV. Not there's anything nice on TV anyway, I bring out my entire collection of DVD movies and play them, one after another. My mum has to literally pull me off the sofa and turn off the TV to get me to move or go bathe. Lol I know right? So unlike me. But I only do this when it's like the last 1 or 2 weeks of the year. Maybe more, but I don't know, who cares?

Then I'll stay up till 12am, wish my family Merry Christmas, and that's about it. Either get back to watching more movies with my family, or rot in my room, or sleep. So the same goes for the New Year, we'll watch the count down then wish one another Happy New Year. Hope there's some celebration this year though. I still totally dig last year's new year count down celebration. It was like WOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Kbox-ed starting from 10pm plus and got DRUNK to the max and just HIGH-ed all the way. Went home at 4am plus. I remember my cousins and I were being half dragged by our parents to our respective cars.

Yeah the adults weren't even half as drunk as us and that's HILARIOUS!!!!!

I don't think there's any plans this year, but I'm looking forward to CHRISTMAS EVE!!!!!! No not because my sis is celebrating her birrthday on that day. But I feel bad that I won't be at home celebrating with her :( She invited a few friends over, no relatives this time round so at least no one will be asking "Eh where's jiejie?" Then that would be kinda rude of me to not be at home.

I'll be going to Orchard with my dear and it's been a long time since I got to celebrate a festive season with my partner. Ok that sounds funny :D Plus I'm going to get Justin Bieber's biography!!!!!! *squeals and hyperventilates* I sincerely hope they don't give me the "no stock" bullshit.

While I'm on the note of my darling Justin Bieber, I'd like to announce that him and I are getting married!!!!! Lol ok what was that for? HAHAHAHA I'm crazy :D Nah but I fucking wish for that. What I was trying to say is that I've finally put up TWO Justin Bieber's posters on my wall right by my bedside. So I can wake up every morning and see his beautiful face. And kiss him. On the lips. In the morning when I wake and at night before sleep.

I'M NOT KIDDING :DDDD

Ok thank you for taking your time to read this crazily long and pretty content-less post. I'm just taking a break from work for awhile. Anyways people, wishing you all an early:

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!

This is me.

10:34 AM

Though this wasn't the worst I've been through, I think it's pretty much the last straw. It just proves that anything can happen anytime and blow everything out of proportion.

So I have to do what is right.. But trust me when I say I don't want to. I really don't want to, it's the last thing I would ever want. Why would I want to take away from myself the best thing in my life?

And even though I know very well that I won't be able to survive and will just cry myself to sleep everyday, it still has to be done... It's the only way to protect you.

I thought everything is perfect, nothing can stand in my way of my happiness. I'm wrong. It really seems as though someone or something is just keen to keep me miserable in life.

This is me.

5:21 PM

Justin Bieber: Our World (Me and You) SGD 19.80

Justin Bieber SGD 11.72

The Justin Bieber Album SGD 20.48

Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever: My Story SGD 33.55

Justin Bieber: The Unauthorized Biography SGD 29.95

Justin Bieber: The Fever! SGD 19.94

Justin Bieber: My World: Piano/Vocal/Guitar SGD 18.93

Justin Bieber: His World (Star Scene) SGD 8.51

Justin Bieber (Get The Scoop) SGD 7.87

Justin Bieber: The Unofficial Biography - Hardback SGD 18.08

Justin Bieber: Uncovered! : Unauthorized SGD 19.90

All these are on sale in Kinokuniya.

As ridiculous as it sounds, I WANT THEM ALL!!!!!!!

And I will try , as difficult as it is, to buy them all. Not all at once like duh, but one at a time... Will get my mum to sponsor the few cheaper ones, if she agrees.

Woah can you imagine if I have all of them?! I'll be so impressed with myself too!!!!!

This is me.

2:23 PM

Paul (Stefan), Nina (Elena) and Ian (Damon) respectively. 3 total hotties, are you hyperventilating already?!

The fact that I'm still blogging here tells alot about what I'm doing sitting at my office cubicle.

And I have no idea what else to say.

Anyway initially I wanted my guitar to ba a female, but then decided it should be a male instead. So should I name it Justin or Stefan?

No kidding, yours truly is perfectly serious here (:

This is me.

11:33 AM

I'm currently sitting at my office cubicle waiting for my supervisor Alvin and his assistant Khairul to give me something to do. Seriously, I reported at 9am and haven't done anything except touring around the school (Choa Chu Kang ITE). And I hear the people around me talking in an entirely foreign language to me, meaning everything about the computers, their softwares and all that shit that I have no idea about.

So I'm using the internet. And mind you Alvin knows ok, I'm not doing it behind his back. I asked him "Can I use the internet?" and he was like "Sure, I didn't say you can't use it right?" LOLS. And he's seriously very nice haha. I keep saying I have nothing to do and he told me to relax and not stress myself. Plus he keeps reminding me that in the following days if I can't take the job load I have to tell him, you know, like he's genuinely caring.

And it's funny how he whispers to whoever we meet in the school like it's a conspiracy, "She's only 16." And they go all shocked like "HUH 16?!" There are 2 other girls on an attachment here, they are of ages 21 and 19 and they're really friendly, not to mention are also totally good at speaking the foreign language.

Seems like the people here have met with some problems and are all going "OMG fuck, this isn't happening." "Wah shit, screw this shit. Fuck it." You get the idea. I can't help it but smile. I like it. No formality or whatsoever :D

So this basically sums up my first nearly 3h at work. But the work load will sure come soon, Alvin assured me. So then at least I can worthily earn my $7/h and feel that I totally deserve it.

On another note, I BOUGHT JUSTIN BIEBER ACOUSTICS 2-IN-1 ALBUM!!!!!!!! WOOOOO!!!!!! And I'm going to Kinokuniya to get his Biography hopefully this weekend. Please don't tell me no stock, I will die.

This is me.

4:32 AM

Me and Damien

Damien is Dolbie's younger brother and he is 11 years old this year. The squint is not real, he actually is very cute ok. Just that he doesn't want to give me a proper face so I'll have to make do with this. It's still adorable though.

At about 11pm plus he was saying he feels like eating "crumbled eggs". Dolbie and I were totally like LOL, and I was struggling to say "You mean scrambled eggs?" Then Dolbie used the com while he snuggled beside me under my blanket and played Angry Birds on my phone with me. We were having such a laugh when each of us made some pretty epic fail moves in the game. Then I decided to cook him his "crumbled eggs".

While in the kitchen he helped me to find the frying pan, frying spatula, oil, and get the plates. Then he stood beside me like some attentive kid while I crumbl- I mean scrambled the eggs. I felt like a mum, really. Especially when I put it on the plate and he was like smelling it and went "Waaaa, so nice..."

So I cooked instant noodles for myself and we started eating together. Everyone else was asleep since it was like 3am plus, except us and Dolbie who was in her room. So there was only 2 of us in the kitchen. So we chatted. He told me his fear: of not being able to do well for PSLE next year. And the usually playful him was gone, replaced by this innocent and scared young boy. I just told him to study real hard. And in a flash he was grinning and saying pretty confidently "Orh ok." Then he asked me why his sister was so lazy, as compared to me. Ouch. I couldn't criticise her could I, lol. I just said cos their family is used to having a maid. I have to do things on my own when I'm home, so it's different. And he actually went, "No wonder you know how to do so many things, then so nice to me." I didn't tell him how Dolbie always yells and screams at him is pretty much how I treat my own younger sister. Oops.

After eating we're back in the room and he continued playing my phone for awhile. Then I gotta charge it so he said ok he'll wait for awhile then play again. So then I start using the com and he snuggled beside me under the blanket again, waiting...

Now, as I'm typing this, he's sound asleep beside me...

This is the best shot I can get seeing that I'm laying flat on my stomach beside him and trying not to wake him with my slightest movement.

So what's the point of this entire post? Actually I'm not very sure. It's just that it's pretty heartwarming for me to see that he trusts me and depends on me so much. More than his own sister. I'm not bad-mouthing Dolbie, I'm just saying... I mean come on, he's sleeping beside me on a mattress on the floor while his sister is on the bed big enough for two. Plus he's supposed to sleep in the other room, not in the same room as us. Go figure.

For this one week I believe I've talked to him and had fun with him more than Dolbie has. Even if she has, it's mostly yelling... I guess that's how you feel towards your own siblings, you don't care how badly you treat them. But Damien's behaviour reminds me of my sis Michelle. I know she looks up to me alot despite how I treat her (loads of hatred on my part). When we get along well, it's really great. When I'm in a foul mood, she gets it bad.

I think I'm actually trying to say that I miss my sis... I don't care if I go back to screaming at her, it'll still be nice to see her and hear her voice again...

This is me.

5:40 PM

[Bobby Tinsley - I'm Missing You]

Ohh babe..
Ohh babe..

The nights are long,
My days are cold,
Without the warmth you provide me when I hold,
You in my arms, feels so long ago,
When you were there..
I think a teardrop just fell down..

I really wanna come to see you,
I really really wish I could,
Maybe in a couple weeks,
It’s only a couple weeks..

But even when I get to,
It’s 14 days I gotta get through (it’s too many days babe)
And I’m really really missing you..

And I miss, miss, miss..
I’m missing you..
And I don’t know..
How I’m gonna make it through..
But I gotta, gotta,
stay strong for us two..
I’m a man,
It’s a job that I gotta do.

So I go outside and I fake a smile..
But if they only knew,
Just how many miles..
Were between love so true,
I really couldn’t cope the way that we do (that we do..)
And I’m really really missing you,

You, you..

Baby when you’re near,
All of my visions clear.
But like a magic show,
I blink and then you disapear..

And I frequently,
Envision what it would be..
To have you alone with me..
Give me a moment so I can breathe ..

Ok.

I really wanna come to see you,
Baby I wish I could ...(Wish I could..)
Maybe in a couple weeks (It’s only two weeks)
It's only a couple weeks (But the problem is..)

Even though I get to..
It's 14 long days that I don’t have you.. (It’s too many days babe)
And I'm really really missing you..
And I miss, miss.. miss
I’m really really missing you.
And I don't know, (I don’t know)
How I'm gonna make it through.

But I gotta, gotta ... (Gotta)
Stay strong for us two.
I'm a man,
It's a job that I gotta do.

So I go outside and I fake a smile,
But if they only knew,
Just how many miles.. (How many miles)
Were between love so true,
I really couldn’t cope the way that we do.. (The way that we do)
And I’m really really missing you (Missing you)

Cuz maybe one day babe,
Not too far away,
We can turn, all our dreams into memories.

(Not gonna be like this forever right?)

Baby we'll have that home,
Spiral stairs, all that we share..
Too many nights, over the phone.

I really wanna come to see you
Baby you know I do..
Maybe in a couple weeks (I’ll try)
It's only a couple weeks (Can’t promise..)

But even when I get to,
Still don't wanna be away from you..
It’s too many days babe,
And I’m really really missing you.

And I miss, miss, miss..
I miss you..
And I don’t know (I don’t know)
How I’m gonna make it through..
But I gotta, gotta,
Hold strong for us two (strong for us two)
I’m a man,
It’s a job that I gotta do.

So I go outside (I’ll go outside)
And I fake a smile (I’ll fake a smile)
But if they only knew,
Just how many miles..
Were between love so true,
I really couldn’t cope the way that we do..

And I’m really really missing you..

This is me.

5:06 PM

These are two of my favourite music videos of Pixie Lott (:

Why am I thinking of Pixie Lott all of a sudden? I'm playing all her songs, watching all her music videos, and looking at her pretty face.

And I start thinking of someone else...

This is me.

4:29 PM

I'm feeling sad.

I'm feeling down.

I'm feeling bored.

I'm feeling fucked up.

I'm feeling screwed up.

I'm feeling..............

Well you get the point. Basically I'm filled with negative emotions up to the brim.

This is me.

12:22 AM

Yesterday was the Starbucks Open House. Met William, Junwei, Yingying and some other people at Vivo City. They were the first in queue at the level one starbucks but I didnt want to get any coffee. Then queued at second floor starbucks and I decided to get a caramel frappecinno (dunno how to spell lols).

After that went to watch Skyline. It was a stupid show. No storyline, and the ending sucked to the max. Really stupid. Wasted a freaking $8.50. Damn it. I hate it when I watched a lousy movie. Spoils my mood.

This is me.

3:15 PM

This is like freaking awesome!!! And seriously, those who think Justin Bieber is gay, well though I'm a HUGE fan of his, I have to say this cover really un-gays him :D

Another great acapella cover. And Mike Tompkins looks pretty cute :D

This is me.

2:30 AM

Here's Ian Somerhaulder. Not as hot as Paul Wesley like I said. I'll upload Nina Dobrev's picture in the next post.

Today met up with Junwei at Ang Mo Kio Hub and watched The Next Three Days. It's a great movie and just shows how powerful love for your other half can be. Will you be willing to risk your life just to bring your beloved other half back to your side, no matter what it takes? In this case the husband tries to help his wife escape from jail as she's supposedly innocent but no one seems to realise that.

Would I? Hmm... Probably not. It really takes too much guts to actually plan an escape from jail. And of course I hope my other half would never ever be in jail whether or not he is innocent or really guilty as charged.

But oh boy, do I know, love for your other half can indeed be that strong. And it's how you feel, to this extent, that makes you cherish each other much much more...

This is me.

I'm realistic, true and factual.
I don't take too much of a load of bullshit, so know my limits.
This world is fake enough, so don't add on to it by pretending to be someone you are not.
Never expect me to change into what you want me to become. I indulge in the fact that I am who I am and embrace it.
You're beautiful, don't let others tell you otherwise.
Anything else anyone is unhappy with about me, I really don't give a fuck.

▪ ~~Contact lenses~~
▪ See Justin Bieber in person!
▪ Lose weight, be slimmer!!!
▪ A personal laptop
▪ A personal digital camera
▪ More money (which will definitely settle many other things)
▪ A happier family

Gwendolyn
Teresa
Humairah

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- please keep the credits AS THEY ARE :] thankyou.